Haggard: "I am a deceiver and a liar"
Posted November 5, 2006
Haggard: "There's a part of my life that's so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it for all of my entire adult life..."
By Carol McGraw and The Associated Presss
In a letter that was read to the congregation of New Life Church this morning, ousted Pastor Ted Haggard said he was guilty of sexual immorality, and he apologized for his acts and requested forgiveness.
"I am so sorry for the circumstances that have caused shame and embarrassment for all of you," he stated. He said he had confused the situation by giving inconsistent remarks to reporters denying the scandal.
"The fact is I am guilty of sexual immorality. And I take responsibility for the entire problem. I am a deceiver and a liar. There's a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it for all of my adult life," he said.
"The accusations made against me are not all true but enough of them are that I was appropriately removed" from my church leadership position, Haggard also wrote.
He did not give details on which accusations were true.
The sanctuary was full at New Life Church as congregants gathered for their first Sunday service without the leadership of the beloved Haggard.
Haggard was fired yesterday by the church's Board of Overseers who cited the pastor's "sexual immoral conduct."
Pastor Ross Parsley called today's service a "family meeting" and the sanctuary the family's "living room." Congregants responded by rising to their feet, clapping and calling out for God's grace.
Parsley then asked children in the congregation to come to the altar for a blessing. Parents walked down the aisles with babies in arms beside pony-tailed and spike-haired teenagers. Parsley asked for God's protection of the children and the group sang the traditional children's hymn "Jesus Loves Me."
The church's powerful rock band then broke into a song and congregants sang along, "He has set my feet upon a rock," standing, arms raised.
Folding chairs lined the aisles of the 7,500-seat sanctuary, but there were more people than seats, and worshippers stood in the doorways and filled the cafeteria and entry.
Teresa Sahar, a member of New Life for 11 years, brought her three children, ages 17 and older, to the service.
"We have been praying together and holding onto the teachings" of the church, she said. Haggard's dismissal and the turmoil surrounding it are "a tragedy in our family," she added.
Before the service began Anne Scott sat by herself reading from the Book of Romans, a Starbucks cup at hand. She said the finality of Haggard's firing didn't hit until this morning when she walked into the church she has attended four years.
"A light is missing, but Jesus will redeem," said the white-haired Scott.
She said she and other New Lifers "love Pastor Ted, but the church goes on. Jesus is with us."
Janette Wilson, who has known Haggard 19 years and used to attend services when New Life met in an old warehouse, collapsed in tears into an usher's arms.
He comforted her, whispering words of encouragement.
"It's a political ploy by Satan himself and his minions to try and take the focus off the real issues of the election," Wilson later said of accusations Haggard had used methamphetamine and had a three-year sexual relationship with a former male escort from Denver. Haggard admitted Friday he had bought meth, but denied using it and denied having sex with the escort, Mike Jones.
Wilson said when she walked into the sanctuary this morning, "I saw the Holy Spirit on the platform. I will miss and will always love Pastor Ted," the former teacher added.