Haggard: "There's a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark"
Posted November 5, 2006
New Life Church, the megacongregation founded by disgraced preacher Ted Haggard in 1985, prepared for massive crowds today.
According to the Gazette, the newspaper of record in Colorado Springs, workers labored late yesterday tucking extra chairs into every available corner and rounding up extra boxes of Kleenex for churchgoers.
A huge crowd reportedly turned out this morning.
Things have changed a lot since Jimmy Swaggart's tear-stained apology back in February 1988. Back then, I remember waiting for the top of the hour so that I could hear a snippet from Swaggart's apology on the radio. Each hour, I tuned in, hoping to learn just a little bit more. There wasn't a lot of information available and it dribbled out in 30-second soundbites. That evening, the network newscasts probably devoted three or four minutes to the story. The words of his confession are ingrained in my memory -- "I have sinned against you, my Lord...," he sobbed. In the background, you could literally hear the audience weep.
The next morning, I rushed to Out of Town News in Harvard Square so I could scoop up copies of the Washington Post, New York Times, Boston Globe and USA Today. Since I was likely the only Harvard undergraduate from Swaggart's denomination that year, people wanted to hear my analysis. I was shocked by his misconduct, angry that he'd embarrassed us all, humiliated by the whole tawdry mess.
Unlike a lot of people, I can't enjoy the spectacle when a prominent religious leader is spectacularly disgraced. I can still remember myself how miserable it felt.
In today's world, we were able to read all about Haggard's apologies before the post-church crowds had finished Sunday lunch at Cracker Barrel. We could watch the sermon live on our computer. We could download the service onto our Ipods.
Unlike Swaggart's confession ("I do not call it a mistake. I do not call it a mendacity. I call it sin..."), Haggard's mea culpa was neatly typed and conveniently posted on the Internet.
The Colorado minister's letter, read by a church official, makes clear that this was not a one-time lapse in judgment. This is no half-hearted guilty plea. There is some, but not much, wiggle room in Haggard's prose.
"The fact is I am guilty of sexual immorality. And I take responsibility for the entire problem," he wrote. "I am a deceiver and a liar. There's a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it for all of my adult life."
Some may fault Haggard for not giving all the seamy details and for insisting some of the allegations against him are untrue. But Haggard says "enough" of the claims are true to warrant his firing as pastor. If people want to be angry at somebody, their wrath should be directed at the preacher, not his masseur.
Wrote Haggard: "He didn't violate you; I did," Haggard.
Frank, thank you for this.
When people lump everyone in the undustry into 'liberal' media, they fail to understand that many people of faith work in media. I think there is a healthiness to having a blog where we can vent a bit, sort out our own thoughts and let readers see journalists aim for fairness while having their own feelings and effect. Nicely done.
Blog on!