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  • Frank Lockwood is the religion editor at the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. Frank is a graduate of Harvard College and the University of Idaho College of Law. In 2004, he received a Knight Wallace Fellowship at the University of Michigan. A native of Oregon, Frank has been a reporter in Idaho, Kentucky and Washington, D.C.

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    1.) The Catholic Church, 67,820,833 members; 2.) The Southern Baptist Convention, 16,267,494; 3.) The United Methodist Church, 8,186,254; 4.) The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 5,999,177; 5.) The Church of God in Christ, 5,499,875; 6.) National Baptist Convention, USA, Inc., 5,000,000; 7.) Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, 4,930,429; 8.) National Baptist Convention of America, 3,500,000; 9.) Presbyterian Church (USA), 3,189,573; 10.) Assemblies of God, 2,779,095 Source: 2006 Yearbook of American and Canadian Churches

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Pulpit humor

Posted February 17, 2007

Bible Belt Blogger: Pulpit humor

Frank Lockwood

Caleb Powers forwarded this tall tale. Feel free to forward your own -- and let me know if you'd like to see a weekly "pulpit humor" feature...

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38! Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ, so that your sins may be forgiven!"

The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he was curious and asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you."

"Scripture?" replied the burglar. "She said she had an ax and two 38's!"