that’s life Fishing lures and other shower gifts

By Tammy Keith

LITTLE ROCK — This wedding shower thing is a great gig, if you can get it.

My brother and my new sister-in-law (I finally get to say it!), who were married in June, got everything for shower gifts from place mats made out of peacock feathers to a Nintendo Wii.

I’ve never seen so many vases and towels and dishes.

They could open their own store with all that loot.

We had a shower last week for a coworker. The woman and her husband got married in June. It is the second time around for both of them, and they needed stuff.

Their stuff was old.

You know how it is. As she opened towels, the mainly female group oohed and aahed. The plaid red-and-white kitchen towel brought cries of ecstasy from the women.

My co-worker’s new husband, who was invited to the shower, lovingly nuzzled a bath towel they received.

Why is it, I asked aloud, that we think the towels we get when we’re married have to last the rest of our lives? It’s like there is an unwritten code that you can’t buy any after you’re married. I’m cutting strings off mine, and my sons have resorted to using beach towels.

I’ll buy a new vehicle and go out and eat steak, but buy new towels? That just seems extravagant.

Her husband and his brother had a little fun registering for gifts at one big-box store. On the registry were fishing lures, a big-screen TV, a laptop and video games. Although he did not get the $800 TV or Madden NFL ’08, he did actually get a few lures, which made him happy. I searched up and down that fishing aisle for 20 minutes to find the right spinner bait and Tiny-Trap Bill Lewis lures - no thanks to a clueless store employee.

I also bought them dishes. Red ones. And while I was at it, I bought myself some. (Dishes OK. Towels not.)

At my sister-in-law’s showers, her mother had an idea. The mother of the bride and the mother of the groom should get to pick one thing they like from each shower to take home.

I say include the sister-in-law in the deal.

A co-worker said after our friend’s shower at work - and you have to read it with her Southern twang - “I’ve always said you need a divorce ( dee-vor-us) shower. You don’t want to sleep on sheets you slept on with them.” (She spit out the word “them.” Did I mention she’s been divorced twice?) “That scumbag messes up your new stuff.”

Plus, she said, “What if your dishes are all broken where youthrew them at him, and your pots and pans are all dented where you hit him with them?”

Good point.

I will have been married 21 years in October. I vote we start another new shower tradition: For every 10 years of marriage, women should get another wedding shower.

I may just go register for one. And I’m putting big fluffy towels on the list.

River Valley Ozark, Pages 121, 127 on 07/06/2008